God is faithful – even if that means going to heaven

Life had been tough. I have mentioned that before many times. 

However, since adopting the twins we saw God provide for their needs in so many countless ways. For example, we had had countless and unending difficulties with staffing Charles’ care, especially at night. When the babies were born, having 2 babies, it was literally physically impossible to take care of the babies all night and Charles and be able to continue taking care of everyone during the day. So we had to have help. And do you know how long we had help overnight? Meaning the finances to do so and the staff to do it? Up until the very last night they ever woke up during the night on a regular basis and not a day more. Is that not crazy? 

Charles and I believed and trusted God that He would provide for our every need. We knew and believed His promises. We prayed for His will every night. We believed His will was best even in the darkest and hardest of times. 

The first few days (and even still now) seem like such a blur. My heart and my mind have a hard time keeping up with reality because reality has moved faster than my heart could comprehend or understand. But in those first few days especially I was desperately grasping to understand how Charles being taken from me could have happened after our faith was so strong that God would take care of us. 

If there was no heaven it would not make sense. But…. out of God’s unending and unexplainable grace, there is heaven. The answer to Charles’ trials here on this earth was for God to totally and completely and forever…. 

totally, completely and forever, eliminate and satisfy all of his earthly needs. 

It felt like a slap in the face to me though in so many ways because I was only looking at my needs. Only trying to understand how God answered our prayers from my own perspective. 

In the same way though that God provided the overnight help until we no longer needed it, God allowed Charles to live until we could no longer provide His care financially that he needed to live a fruitful life ….. to the very week. 

Charles was worried about what the future held because he didn’t want to be a burden. I worried about the future because I didn’t want my husband’s daily suffering to become unbearable. 

And on November 18th, 2016, God took Charles to be with Him to totally, completely and forever take care of all of his needs.

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  1. Autumn says:

    I’ve been praying for you and the babies ever since Paul posted the news. Will continue to do so. God is faithful, His grace is sufficient, and His provision is amazing, even if we don’t realize it right in the moment. Hugs, Spring.