Why Infertility Is One of the Best Things that Has Ever Happened to Me

Filed in Christian Walk by on October 14, 2017

1 Samuel 1:27I was buying some shoes for the kids at Walmart the other day and the cashier and I started talking. This led to a conversation about the adoption of the children. The thought came to my mind how infertility was literally one of the best things that has happened in my life and also, one of the best things for my marriage. That may seem strange to say, because for many, infertility is devastating! I can definitely say that during the journey of infertility, I don’t know if I would have found myself saying the same thing. Now on the other side I can see the bigger and better picture that God had for us.

When Charles and I met, we were both uncertain about having children. I think because, at our age we understood and knew what a vast responsibility parenthood would be. But God quickly changed our hearts. It was only three days after we were married that I was telling Charles I wanted to have his baby. And so we started the journey. It was a long and difficult journey; full of lots of waiting, negative pregnancy tests, doctors visits, labs, medication, shots and more shots! There were more doctors’ visits and charting and researching. There were diets, and more tests. It involved us driving to Jackson in the pouring rain on a Sunday afternoon for me to do bloodwork at the hospital on the weekend. It involved Charles enduring many rounds of me taking fertility medication which I said Charles had to endure because, goodness y’all… Fertility drugs really mess with your emotions and it was crazy! But Charles was with me every step of the way. He came to almost every single doctors’ appointment. He was my greatest cheerleader through all the diet changes I had to make. He kept me accountable in taking all the medications. He was a listening ear and compassionate heart as I struggled with not being able to give him what I wanted to give him. He never brushed me to the side. He never belittled all that I went through. 

He was always there. 

We were a team and in it together. Even though all the issues were with me, he never made me feel that way.

Through it all, we prayed every night together, some of the sweetest prayers and sweetest moments we had as a couple, for God to give us children. Finally it came down to going forward with exploratory reproductive surgery that my doctor was recommending. I was deathly afraid of surgery, but I trusted my doctor and I didn’t want any regrets. I wanted to know that I had done everything that I could do. We were also hopeful that the surgery would provide some answers for the lack of success that we had had, because our story was never a story for which doctors ever told us that we should not be able to conceive. Even though there were obvious hormone issues with me nothing seemed beyond anything that should be successful. I’ll never forget waking up from surgery and the one person I wanted to see and be with, more than anything, was Charles. And there he came, bearing the cutest little Ty stuffed animal and balloon. He was so tender and understanding in those moments as he always had been. I will never forget that. 

After the surgery, we were still hopeful for many months but my body began to grow weary of all the medications. The physical side effects and emotional roller coaster was becoming too much, so we just decided to stop it all and just enjoy each other. 

Then, they had an announcement about our church’s adoption class. Adoption was something I had always been interested in at some point, so we went. And God started working on both of our hearts that maybe this was the road that we needed to go down. As we slowly went through the book Adopted for Life by Russell Moore and reading through scripture with intentional prayer that summer, we began to really talk through the possibilities of adoption.

Adoption was not a plan B when plan A wasn’t working out, but was God’s plan.

We had no idea how it would ever happen. With Charles’s condition we knew that there was no agency that would ever talk to us. And I prayed, (it wasn’t even in a formal time of prayer; just one of those every day talking with God moments) that if this was what He wanted for us, He would just drop it in our laps. I didn’t have the energy to fight to prove to someone that we would be good parents. God would just need to make it happen. And it wasn’t even a few weeks later that we got the text message asking us if we were interested. 

Infertility not only strengthened our marriage, grew us closer to the Lord and to each other but it also brought us our children. I can’t imagine what our life would have been like without them. God was so incredibly gracious to give us such a gift. Even now as I sit here listening to the sweet sounds of my son singing his favorite song, “The Wheels on the Bus” my heart just smiles at his sweet little voice and I am overcome with thankfulness.

Often times, we just have to trust God that He knows the bigger picture through all of the difficulties and times when life just doesn’t seem fair even though we have no idea what that bigger picture is. And sometimes He allows us to see a glimpse of that bigger picture on this side of heaven.

The days of infertility were often long, difficult and confusing but through it all God had a better story for us. I am so thankful for that!

That is why I can say that yes, infertility IS one of the best things that has ever happened to me.

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